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OMG Twilight OMG!!!

19 November 2008 3,071 Views 11 Comments author: Brian Jewell

On November 21, nothing will be the same. On this momentous day, the greatest work in the history of humanity shall arrive: The Twilight movie. Sadly, those of you who don’t have a teenage girl or gayboi in your life may be unaware of this unprecedented expression of beauty, nobility, and sexy vampires. If so, do not heedlessly watch the magnificence of the trailer, for it will be like gazing into the sun!

Rather, watch it in reflection, through the eyes of a generous Twilight fan. For lo! Scores of fangirls have videotaped themselves watching the trailer because, as Twilight fan alicecullengirl says, “I never want to forget this moment in my life when I saw the Twilight trailer.”

Neither will you, my friend. Neither will you.

If you don’t believe my warnings about the potency of Twilight, watch this video from nuttymadam3575. Even for this dedicated fan, the trailer is so overwhelming an experience that she must pause halfway through to gather her strength.

Miss Friday, fancying herself made of stronger stuff, attempted to watch the video quietly. The tension made her jaw unhinge. But it’s the guest appearance of her sister that is most compelling. Like a grim psychopomp, her soulless gaze burns into the camera. Who knows what Twilight secrets she possesses?

Background skullduggery also plagued unicornsdoexist. Watch and learn: if someone bursts into your room in the middle of Twilight time and says they hurt their leg, you tell them to hush up.

Anna and Taylor also watched it together. Or perhaps they’re cybering. Either way, their video is reminiscent of talking heads on a news show — reminding us all of how delinquent CNN has been in covering Twilight.

See how much pleasure Twilight will bring to the world? And yet, there are naysayers! For instance, Alex wants to inform you that this teen vampire movie isn’t factually accurate! He knows, because he has “a 80% of vampire knowledge.”

But EmoBunny729 has an irrefutable rebuttal.

Leave your response!